Matt’s favorite apology card, an “I’m sorry” to himself:
“There are repercussions, serious repercussions to fatherhood. Chiefly my apparent loss of masculinity. And for that I apologize. But what’s a Dad to do with the necessary employment of words such as “onesie” and “binky” and “blankie”? And since when did I start talking in glass-shattering goo-goo octaves or doing that highly embarrassing, exaggerated, fingers-spread-out “Yaaay” clap in front of the babies? I’m so sorry. It’s probably just a phase.”
Ugh, I blame the minivan for the truth of this one:
“One of the least fotunate realities of parentdom is the sudden and perplexing shift in our driving style. And to you, fellow motorists, we apologize. Sure, we now drive at a cautious speed not dissimilar to a funeral procession. And sure, our car is loaded up with so much baby gear that we look like a west-heading truck in The Grapes of Wrath. But Babies are on Board. And hey, you try driving while doing the blind “reach back” for a lost pacifier. Sorry.”
Matt, it is indeed a phase. It’ll get better once you’re able to start wrestling with your kids. For example, Will doesn’t like to give “hugs”, but he’ll rarely pass up a chance for me to “crush his bones!” Just give it time, and your masculinity will return.
The problem can also be tackled with a judicious application of denial. I consider my baby-interacting talk to be ‘manly’.