April 22, 2013 by Jaime

Favored; NEVER Favorite

We have a special saying in our house that Rissa started. She holds out her arms as wide as she possibly can, and sometimes she reaches them back behind her so that they are even further apart and says, “I love you THIIIIIISSSSS much!” Then she loves it when Matt and I do it back to her because of course our arm span is far greater than hers so the amount we love her feels very susbstantial. Sometimes she says, “I love you as much as Jesus loves me!” Which is pretty much the sweetest sentiment ever! I love that she feels so well-loved by Jesus that she has overflowing love to offer the rest of us! I think that’s my 3 kids in a nutshell; people who love others as much as Jesus loves them. Now that they are all potty-trained, able to feed themselves, and amazingly loving toward people, I’m certain I can ascend to glory having fulfilled my role. Wait, there’s more to motherhood than imparting these 3 important skills? Aw crap, I might have to teach them how to drive…

Rissa’s “THIIIIIIS much!” gesture is used by all of us now. I even made their Valentine’s Day cards with that in mind:

I have been thinking about favoritism lately because of a recent conversation I had with my children. They were so full of confidence that I would say no when the twins came over to ask me if I love Daddy more than I love them. Unfortunately, my conviction to be honest with my kids kicked in before my conviction to be sensitive to the actual question before delivering an answer did, so I said that I do love Daddy more. They were crushed and shocked. I tried to explain that I choose Daddy every single day, whereas God chose my children for me and gave them to me. I said that I love them differently than I love Daddy, and that all four of them are my very FAVORITE people. And I said that I love them SO much, I just love Daddy a little bit more. And that I love Jesus even more than I love Daddy, so it’s okay. None of that helped – they heard me say, “I don’t love you as much” and they were very hurt.

I wish I hadn’t said it like that to them. I do want to tell them the truth. I want them to know that my marriage outranks my mothering, so that they know that our family is structured in a safe and stable way that benefits them and makes them feel secure. Frankly, the REAL truth is that it costs me infinitely more emotional effort to choose Matt right now. Choosing my children comes naturally; choosing my husband is something I must remind myself to do. Since I spend more effort loving Matt, I view him as a bigger love in my life. And I suspect that those roles could reverse… someday, it may come naturally to love Matt and I may have to choose to love my children, despite difficulty I experience in my relationship with them.

I have always considered fairness to be a component of justice. (After recently taking a fabulous strengths assessment, I learned that one of my top 5 strengths is Individualization. A quote from the book: “You are intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person… you instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships.” Dude, they NAILED me!)

I remember during a heated argument between my 14ish year old self and my mom, I accused her of showing favoritism toward one of my siblings and not loving me. This was a stupid and painful thing to say anyway, but it was a particularly awful thing to say to a woman who had just separated from her husband for the safety and sake of her children a few months before that argument. Mom was crushed. It was a horrible accusation, and now as a mother, I know just how ridiculous it is to make a judgment like that. As if a parent could have favorites!!!! Due to examples like my 14 year old bratty self above, favoritism is a sensitive topic in both mine and Matt’s families of origin, so I hope to handle this sensitively. Well, at least after I make this one pointedly blunt statement:

Favoritism is total crap.

I know of parents who actually claim to have a favorite child or a least favorite child and then justify themselves with “well, everybody does it, I’m just admitting it!” So yes, favoritism does happen. Personally, I find it repulsive. I try to be supportive of people’s best efforts, but I cannot find a way to accept that kind of crap from a parent. No child should ever hear that. And no child should ever feel that way without being immediately reassured that the family would be devastated without their participation and that they are a delight and an immense gift to the family. And NO, everybody does NOT do it!!!! One of the most painstaking skills to learn in parenting is how to love each child in their way, so that they feel loved. This makes loving children look different in each case because kids don’t come with automatically synced up love inputs, even when they are siblings. I will say that after that craptastic accusation I made toward my mom, she worked her tail off to learn each of us even better, and from that day forward, we are each well-loved in our way. (I’ve mentioned this before… my mom is a SUPERSTAR!)

I have seen parents pour themselves into their children… meeting the needs of each child. Love looks different for a well child than an ill child. Love looks different for a quiet child than an active child. Love looks different for a successful child than a hurting child. Love always looks different.

Which is why favoritism is a load of crap (except for those few cases where it is real and sometimes the parents outright admit it. If that has happened to you, I am sincerely sorrowful. You deserve to be a favored, loved child and your parents made a mistake. I hope they can admit that, but if not, I’ll admit it for them). In reality, favoritism doesn’t exist nearly as often as we perceive that it does. I know that during my most isolated times in childhood, my mom was wracking her brain, trying to find ways to connect with me and love me and figure out how to build (and rebuild) relationship with me. She spent so much effort on me… and I saw none of it because things weren’t perfect right at that moment. I never would have believed it at the time, because I was so broken. And who knows whether my brother and sister felt slighted or actually were slighted during those times when I was unwell and hurting. Because a parent runs to their hurting child and they hurt right there with them, even to the exclusion of other important areas of life.

My kids don’t understand this right now. They don’t know that Matt and I weep over their hurts and pray desperately for wisdom to guide them. They don’t know how hard we work to love them, to nourish their souls and hearts and minds. They only understand what they can see, which is that Nathaniel got to go on a date with Mommy and the twins got to go on a date with Daddy and it’s not fair! And it isn’t fair… in the sense that it isn’t the same. But they are all well-loved. Our kids might not ever fully understand our love for them unless they have the opportunity to become parents themselves.

I regularly hear the phrase, “Your kids are so wonderful, how could you even pick a favorite???” I don’t actually know… but I think the purpose of that phrase is to give me a chance to say, “obviously, I can’t!” So I always say, “obviously, I can’t!” in a huffy voice. But what I want to say is, “What is wrong with you??? Why would ‘picking a favorite’ even be a topic of conversation??? That’s terrible!” I don’t actually say that, of course. Well, I haven’t yet. 🙂 I try to remember that Individualization is my own strength, and that others are strong in opposite areas like Community Grouping etc. That it isn’t really terrible… I just think it is. I mean, I do think it is terrible. Awful. But that doesn’t mean they are terrible for asking that. Maybe they just want me to get a chance to point out that I don’t do the favoritism crap thing that mean parents do. But I want to go much further than just not showing favoritism. I want to stuff favoritism in a New York subways toilet, flush once and for all, and live the rest of my life without its existence! I think it is that repulsive. (Hmm, note to readers: if you do have favorite children and are fine with it or you struggle with secretly having favorite children and are trying to change, I am not likely to be a safe listener on this topic. I would try… but be warned that I get worked up at the very mention of it).

We’ve already heard accusations like, “You don’t love me!” from our kids. It hurts. Because seriously, have they been unconscious for the last several years? Sometimes I feel like loving them is ALL I do! It is important for both me and Matt to admit that we are not always doing a good job as parents. We might be trying our hardest and still failing miserably. But we promise to keep trying and never give up. Just like we promised to each other with our marriage. And we know that accusations from children aren’t intended to hurt their parents. Those accusations wound us deeply, yes. And it is important for kids to learn to state their feelings honestly AND respectfully, so that things can be talked through and restored, rather than further damaged. But kids are actually describing their own pain and hurt more than they are trying to hurt others. I think kids use those ridiculous tactics to try and spur parents on to try harder until they “get it.” No point in wasting effort in a way that doesn’t even say LOVE to that person! I know I would rather put my effort into the biggest payoffs! My mom did that for me; she switched her effort to areas I could see and feel and bam, I felt loved. I’ve seen many parents do that for their kids. It’s what parents do.

I love that God does this with us too. He loves His children and despite our child-like tendencies to whine and complain when the universe isn’t us-focused, He still steps in to offer special loves. A whisper here. A special song there. A friend prompted to remind us of our value to our heavenly Father. God doesn’t choose favorites. Instead, He FAVORS His children. “Blessed” is just as aptly translated “favored.” As in, His heart and His love are turned toward us. In our brokenness. In our mess. In our pits of despair. The God of the universe reaches to us, loves us, responds to us. He favors His beloved. I don’t always feel it. But I know He is there.

April 18, 2013 by Jaime

Follow-through Sucks!

My little Stink-a-bub is starting to believe that he does not need an afternoon nap. Which is terrifying, because I need him to take a nap! He is a crankypants monster when he doesn’t nap. But I have loosened up on getting him down for his nap by 1pm, and if I miss that timeframe, he has trouble conking out later on in the afternoon. I need to get my life back in order enough to give him the sleeping window back!

Today, he bonked his head and started crying. I went in to hug him and he asked (as he often does), “peas you pay wid me?” (pray, not play, though I suspect he’d enjoy both!) I prayed with him. I gave him his Arf-arf and blankie, arranged his bed all snuggly around him, and told him to go to sleep. He got up and starting jumping around again and bonked his head again within minutes.

I went back in and said, “Nathaniel, it’s time for your nap. Lay down. If you don’t stay in your bed, I will have to take Arf-arf because he is tired and he wants a nap and you need to help him sleep.”

Needless to say, Arf-arf was removed on my next visit. I did it kindly. I picked up Arf-arf and blankie, explained that I was taking him because Nathaniel didn’t obey, and told him to get back in his bed and lay down.

I hate follow-through. For their sake and mine, I hope that knowing the consequences will help them avoid the behavior so that I don’t have to enact the consequences. Often, that works well. But every once in awhile, my kids forget how much they hate consequences, they disobey anyway, and then I have to follow-through in order to be consistent. It sucks for them. It sucks for me. It just sucks.

Thanny was heartbroken, obviously. A string of angry rants floated under my bedroom door where I was working, things like, “Mommy dust TATE my fwenz!* She TATE DEM! I not pay (play) wif her anyMORE!”

*I always question whether it is okay to take “friends” – Rissa and Nathaniel are both very attached to their blankies and sleep buddies, to the point that it is a real relationship for them. I never want to remove relationship as a consequence… that’s going too far. But it is also extremely effective in getting both kids to think through their actions and how what they do affects others! It’s a sparingly used disciplinary tool in this house, and this time, I decided it would help Nathaniel understand better if I could project his need for a nap onto Arf-arf.

I decided to go in and talk to him, because obviously, he hadn’t connected his behavior with the consequences.

Me: Nathaniel, how are you feeling? Are you feeling mad?
N: No… I feeling sad!
Me: I can see that you are sad, Buddy. Do you know why you are sad?
N: ‘tuz… ‘tuz… YOU! {pointed finger and everything}
Me: What did I do that made you sad?
N: You tate my Arf-arf and bantee and doze my fwenz!
Me: Yeah. That IS very sad. {pause to let him feel acknowledged} Do you know why I took Arf-arf and blankie?
N: ‘tuz you not be nice to me!
Me: Oh honey, that’s not why. I took them because you disobeyed! I told you to lay down and stay in your bed, and you disobeyed. Arf-arf and blankie are sad too… they miss you, but they need their nap and you weren’t doing your nap.

At this point, he reached out his sweet little arms, hugged me, and said, “I wuv you.” We snuggled and I kissed his little head and whispered my loves for a minute. I was taken completely off-guard. What a sweet, sweet little man! Problems can be solved so easily at this age and broken hearts can be repaired quickly. I will miss that when my children are older.

Me: You can have Arf-arf and blankie back after your nigh-night. They are sleeping right now, and they want you to get a good sleep too so you can feel better. Okay?
N: Yeah! I have dem when I wate up! And when dey wate up!
Me: Yep! I’ll see you then, okay?
N: Ohtay. Nigh-night, Mommy.

I’m so glad I went in to talk it out with him! I thought the situation was clear, but he was convinced that I was just being vindictive. Now, he understands that the consequence went with the behavior, and that all of us are sad that it went that way.

It is overwhelming to live like this every single day, so of course, I don’t actually manage to live like this every single day. Sometimes, I don’t take the time to explain. I don’t put in the extra effort… I get frustrated and think, “They know this by now! Behavior -> consequences… it works the same way every time!” But I also don’t get loving hugs and “I wuv you!” words those times either.

Matt and I work really hard to “talk it out” with our kids, usually after a disciplinary tool is used. We talk about EVERYTHING. Excessively. Explaining, processing, repeating ourselves. It is tiring and seemingly pointless at times. But then they get it and we hear them telling their stuffed animals, “That was NOT a good choice. Go take a minute in the red chair. Okay, are you ready to talk about it, Pundy?” and moments later, Pundy is welcomed back into playtime as if the offense never happened. Effortful parenting is so very EFFORTFUL. I’m hoping it’s worth it. We’ll find that out later on, I suppose. For now, maintaining relationship with our kids (REAL relationship, not just “I’m in charge of you, so do what I say and that’s all you get!” authoritarian demands) relies on this method of talking it out. They need that, so that they know when they are restored. And we need it too, if only for the momentary glimpses that they are learning and growing, and perhaps our efforts aren’t in vain.

April 9, 2013 by Jaime

Big News

When I shared my big news with our family at Nathaniel’s birthday party, Tim and Mari guessed at the exact same time, “You’re pregnant.” I was so taken aback that I didn’t know what to say. I stuttered “Um, no… no it’s not that… um… um, NO, no it’s not that, um…” for several minutes until I regained my composure. I had forgotten that women with young children must never NEVER start any announcement with “I have big news!” unless they are hoping someone thinks they are pregnant. Which is great when they are… but I am not… and that is not the news. No Olson babies on the visible horizon.

Now that I’ve started you off with a horrendous let-down, you probably won’t even be excited about my actual big news, but I’m going to share it anyway.

I have a job.

Yes, yes, of course I have a job. I’m a mommy! But now, I have another job.

I will begin working for the university in the next week or so and will receive monetary compensation for my work.

MONETARY COMPENSATION! Woo-hoo!

Let’s cheer together – WHEEEE!!!!! – and now I’ll monologue my way through the lengthy back story like villains do so that you know what the hooty-hoo is going on. It’s all been rather sudden and no, I wasn’t even looking.

I went to a professional conference in early February. You see, it costs me approximately $300/year to maintain my speech-language pathology credentials. Nevermind that I’m not using my speech-language pathology credentials… I still need to keep them up to date. If I let my credentials lapse, then my master’s degree was for naught and I’d have to go back to school to get it again. That sounds horrendous, doesn’t it? Yes, yes it does. So the SLP professional powers that be scam me out of $300/year under the obvious assumption that I’d rather be scammed by them than go to school for the same degree all over again. It is infuriating. So I pay hundreds of dollars in professional organization fees each year and I pay other hundreds of dollars to go to professional conferences to keep my SLP know-how updated. If I was working as an SLP, I would receive compensation from my employer to cover some or all of the fees and conference costs. As a stay-at-home mommy, I have to steal that $300 per year (that’s average, every other year is $200, the others are $400+) from our family money. I make no money, but I have to spend OUR money in order to ensure my future ability to be able to make money if and when I choose to make money again as an SLP.

So I went to the conference as part of my every other year weekend in Chicago to get as many training hours as possible so that I can only go every 2 years and not ditch Matt on his own with the kids every single year. It was a very cram-packed 2.5 days and I was exhausted! As I listened to the various sessions, I remembered how interested I am in my field. This is great stuff, really! Swallowing disorders, traumatic brain injuries, strokes, aging, childhood developmental issues, neural development. My field extends from the brain to the esophagus, and I know a great deal of medical knowledge about your head and neck!

As I listened and remembered how much I enjoy learning about my field, I became frustrated because I don’t really have a plan to get back into a career as an SLP. I mean, I assume that someday I’ll pick it up again. But right now, I have 2 kids in preschool and one at home all day. Next fall, I’ll have 2 kids in elementary school and one in morning preschool two days a week. That 6 hours of alone time per week isn’t enough to find part-time work. (I have all sorts of exciting plans to use those hours to a) pee by myself, b) grocery shop by myself, c) go to personal appointments by myself, d) acquire and develop an affection for soap operas and bon bons BY MYSELF… There is a connecting theme throughout my plans – do you see it?) 🙂

Since I can’t do much with 6 hours per week in the working world, any future career plans are on hold until Nathaniel begins kindergarten in 2 years. I keep thinking, “That’s only 2 years away…” and strongly urge myself to start looking at options. But whiner that I am, I don’t really like my options, even though I chose this field of study because it is ridiculously option-laden and I can get a job wherever/whenever I want!!!!!! If I go to work for a school, I’ll be at work for the entire school day which means I’m gone while my kids are gone and I get home when they get home and I feel frazzled from two full-time jobs that intersect so fluidly that I have zero down time when I’m “off the clock.” If I go to work for a hospital or a nursing home, I’ll rotate on evenings and weekends and that’s family time. (I’m picky, I know. Thank God that Matt has a solid job which gives me the luxury to sit around dreaming up perfect jobs for myself and making excuses for why all the actual jobs aren’t good enough. And I thank God also that I have a degree in a field with lots of options so that I can justify dreaming up perfect jobs and making excuses for why actual jobs aren’t good enough!). My real dream is to eventually work for the university again, but of course, that requires more than 6 hours of availability.

I came home from the conference and we headed over to the Althaus home to celebrate the Chinese New Year. Ellen kindly made conversation by asking, “So, Jaime, what are you thinking for work options now that your kids are getting to be school-aged?” because she knows that I’m open to working once my years of raising little ones at home are completed. And I smiled weakly and said, “I DON’T KNOW, ELLEN, I DON’T KNOW!!!!” I explained that I feel like I should be working on a plan and finding something now so that in two years when I’m available, I can know what I’m getting myself into and just follow the plan. “But I don’t have a plan!” I wailed. So I admitted that I’m happy where I’m at and I’m trying to avoid worrying about my lack of a plan because I still have 2 years to come up with one. Ellen shared a little bit of her story about how it came to be that she went back to work and gave me some lovely advice.

Not three days later, I received an email from a former student of mine. Irene did her master’s program and worked under the professor that I worked for at that time. We found each other at Awana back in the fall – her son sits at the Cubbies green table with my Zach-a-bean. We were both surprised that we still live here in town – she came back and I never left. Irene works for the Speech-Language Clinic on campus – all students in our department provide therapy to clients (both adults and children) to get practicum hours. Irene is a supervisor at the clinic. So she emailed me and said that there was an opening at the clinic and she thought I would be perfect for it and if I was interested, I should contact the clinic coordinator.

I immediately emailed Ellen and said, “What have you done???” since she just asked me about my (lack of) plans and I basically said I was hoping something would fall into my lap at the right time, and here we are 3 days later and something has fallen into my lap. I was not excited. I assumed the open position was as a supervisor, and having not worked in nearly 6 years, I didn’t feel competent to supervise students without some recent experience of my own! But I responded to Irene anyway and found out that they were not looking for another supervisor. They needed someone to coordinate the hospital internships and externships (externships are big internships) for the students. Irene remembered all of my work as a liaison between our research lab and various hospitals and she thought I would be perfect for the job. And since we found each other at Cubbies at Awana of all places, she knew I was in town and not currently working.

The only glitch was that my non-plan was to do something in 2 years, not now. I have 3 kids home all summer… I don’t even get my 6 hours by myself until this coming fall!!! I’m not available yet! I decided to contact the clinic coordinator and meet with her to find out more about the position. Why not? As it turns out, the current clinic coordinator was one of my supervisors when I was a student, actually, one of my favorite supervisors. I remembered her; she remembered me. We set up an appointment to chat for 30 minutes and I stayed for almost 2 hours. I was honest and told her that I wasn’t sure I was available yet. I like being home with my cutie kids and I didn’t want to pay a babysitter to have fun with them when I want to be the one to have fun with them! If the position started this spring and summer, I didn’t know how I could pull that off since I’m not even available until the fall, and only for 6 measly hours.

But get this… the job is 5-10 hours per week… working from home (primarily). I’ll be in touch with students and hospitals and placement sites via email and phone calls, and I can do that from wherever I want. I can do it during Nathaniel’s afternoon nap. I can do it during my 6 hours of free time. I can do it whenever I want, so long as I do it. The clinic coordinator stated that she was very interested in hiring me and that I had the skills and experience she was looking for. I stated that I was very interested in the job, but needed a week to think; to figure out what that would mean for my family and to determine if I could even make this work.

I thought. I talked to Matt. I thought some more. I talked to Matt some more. I was going to take the whole week, but I progressed from “Ehh, I’m not looking for something right now” –> “Could I make this work?” –> “I might want to make this work…” –> “Okay, how can I make this work because I want it to work!” within a few days. This job was perfect for me. It had flexible hours and a flexible location, it used skills I already have, it was at the university, I could work with students which I love, I would have a great boss and great coworkers when I did go in to the office, I could use my SLP degree and skills without actually doing therapy, and the pieces all fell into place within a few days out of nowhere! The major problem was the timing – if only the previous person was retiring in two years when I was available instead of right now! It felt so wrong to spend my measly 6 hours of alone time before I even had them in my grubby little hands! And I would need childcare for the spring and summer while I trained with the woman who was retiring. But once the fall began, I would work while my kids were in school and it wouldn’t interfere with family time at all. What to do???

I loved it when Matt said, “Well, Sweetie, it’s the perfect opportunity with bad timing. That sounds exactly like what God has for you!” And it is true! We find just what we need, but God never provides within our expected timeframe! Obviously, this job is from Him and for me!

So I’ll spend some time training from April until August. And then I’ll take over the responsibilities fully from September on. And maybe someday, I can add to the responsibilities of this job and add more hours to my work week as my kids get older and need me less. Who knows! It seems so open and available – it is just what I needed. And a full two years too soon. Obviously, it’s for me. 🙂 I’m excited to pay for my credential maintenance with my own money instead of stealing it from our family! And I’m already mentally spending my earnings before I have them – hello, piano lessons for my little musical geniuses! I should probably start looking for some childcare. Here we go!

April 2, 2013 by Jaime

Forcing Spring

It’s sunny with clear skies, but a week after our epic snow, it’s still pretty chilly. But the snow is melted, I see sprouts pushing their way up through the dirt, and for the first time ever, I’ve noticed tiny buds on our giant trees. (Usually I don’t notice until they are flowering and then I think, when did all of that grow in? Why wasn’t I looking? I’ve been more intentional this year.)

After winter, I always go through intermittent insanity where sun equals warmth. It doesn’t matter if it is still in the 40’s, if it is sunny, it is WARM. That’s what I tell myself. And yesterday was in the 50’s and today was in the 59-60 range, so that counts as real spring!

Yesterday, we arranged for Matt to buy Pancheros for dinner (I always sing “Pancherooooooos, Pancheros!” in the style of Fiddler on the Roof’s “Tradition” and my kids look at me like I’m crazy, which of course I am during this season and I already admitted that in the last paragraph). We put on our coats and met him at Crystal Lake Park for some frigid playground time and a picnic. It was too cold but we were so desperate to get OUT that we didn’t care. Well, we cared… but not enough to change our plans. We ate and left lots of crumbs for the squirrels, then we ran laps and climbed and played with the other kid/dad that were insane enough to consider it warm enough for playgrounding. We resisted urges to chase the geese. And then we went home when we were bone-cold and the sun was dipping down. Matt is so thrilled that there is still sunlight available when he gets home from work that he is crazy enough to participate in my sun=warmth plans and do these sorts of things.

Today, I lured the kids into cleaning up their toys in the living room by promising a bike ride when the Lincoln Logs/crayons/Easter eggs were put away. I piled them into their coats and mittens and bike helmets, strapped the bungee cords to Nathaniel’s tricycle so that I can tug him along to keep him a) with us and b) moving when he gets tired, and off we went! We biked all the way down to the gas station and then I had us stop to get “gas for our bikes.” Rissa giggled and said that was silly, and I said I’d explain when we got there. We talked about how our bodies are the engines for our bikes and we run on fuel. There are two ways to get more fuel in our bodies. Rissa thought of sleep (!!!! Go, Riss-Riss, my little genius!) and I added food. I told them that we could pick out a treat and eat it and then they’d be fueled up for the ride back home. (The whole trip was a giant ploy to entertain my children whilst finding me some cappuccino, so double win for me!) We sat on the curb and they ate their Cheetos and shared a slushie while I happily slurped my mocha. Then we cleaned up the orange fingers, got back on the bikes, and headed home! There was the usual amount of “can I be in the front? how come I’m not in the front??? you’ve been in the front longer than me!” sibling comparisons and the usual amount of “GET OVER ON THE SIDE/STOP/BE CAREFUL, A CAR IS COMING!” mommy-handling-3-children-who-are-prone-to-self-destruction screeches from me, but overall, we had a great deal of fun. And Mommy is caffeinated. And my kids are wiped out and likely to enjoy their nap after lunch.

I couldn’t help but reminisce about my happy childhood playtimes with my best friend Beth. We used to ride our bikes to a nearby convenient store almost every time we played together at her house and spent our money on Airheads and ring pops and other dental care travesties that taste oh so good. So many happy memories, and now, I’m making them again with my own Tinies. And someday, perhaps no one will spill my cappuccino onto the sidewalk and no one will whine that the slushie is all gone because they sucked all the juice out and the rest of it isn’t melted enough yet to go up through the straw and no one will fall off their bike and look at me with questioning eyes to determine whether this is a freak-out moment. (It isn’t. I smile, and say, “Ooo, that was a good one! Good thing you are wearing mittens so that your hands didn’t get scraped! Get back on, you’re doing great!”) Maybe someday they’ll pull ME in the wagon! I can dream. But until then, I have happy bike ride traditions to pass on and we can continue forcing spring to come by pretending it is already here.

April 1, 2013 by Jaime

Turning Free: March 18

Nathaniel’s party with friends was on Monday at the indoor playground. (Major shout-out to First Christian Church who provides a giant INDOOR playground open to the public on weekdays! It costs anywhere from $75-$200 to book a birthday venue in town, but FCC offers their playground for free! What a ministry they have to our community!!!!)

Since Gramma and Granpa were still in town, they were able to attend BOTH parties!

It was spring break, so we weren’t sure if our friends would be available to join us, but a good number of them were still in town! Nathaniel listed out his friends and we invited them! He had SO MUCH FUN running around like a crazy man and trying out all sorts of things that he was unable to do on his own prior to turning three. This picture encapsulates his identity right now and a large portion of my life:

After some much-needed rest time (Mommy took a massive nap too!), we headed over to Toro Loco for dinner. Toro Loco is the new El Toro – they moved to a larger location. We ate deliciousness. And then to commemorate Nathaniel’s birthday, we repeated the events from his first birthday at El Toro… and even had the same waiter! Here we are 2 years later, with more sombrero fun, more singing amigos, more whip cream, and a LOT more shuffling!