So, our vacuum has died several times and Matt has revived it each time and I’ve been ready to toss it off of a parking garage every time I use it because it doesn’t suck and it emits this terrible smell.  You really want a vacuum to suck!  It’s old and we need a new one.  I’d research the heck out of this and search for the best one for the best price etc. etc., but Misty has already done that for me, and I trust her on anything related to cleaning!  Thanks for saving me plenty of time, Misty!  We are making a family outing out of going to buy the new vacuum this afternoon.

Me <realizing that my birthday is coming up>:  Is this going to have to be my birthday present?

Matt:  Oh yeah, sweetie, a vacuum is the perfect gift to get a…

Me:  …housewife?

Matt <dripping with sarcasm>:  Yeah, exactly!  You’d love it!

Me:  If you buy me some sort of workout equipment and a vacuum, so help me…

Matt:  You’d have the most offensive birthday gifts ever!