Dance

I have wanted to enroll my children in dance ever since I had children.  I adore the concept of dance.  I think it is beautiful, strong, artistic, AND athletic.  It teaches focus and balance and creativity.  It celebrates movement and the strength of each individual exponentially multiplying a collective strength.  I LOVE dance.

I can’t dance to save my life.

In fact, my mom put me in dance as a second grader to give me something that I wasn’t good at doing.  As in, she KNEW I would be clumsy and off-beat, and intentionally chose this activity for those reasons.  It was an excellent decision on her part and I continue to be grateful for the life lessons I learned!

I don’t have to be good at everything!  I don’t have to be perfect!  I can enjoy myself even if I am a disaster.

Oh, I definitely was a disaster.  But I was the cutest tap-dancing French maid with a hot pink feather duster you have ever seen click around a recital stage, despite my lack of musicality.  (This is a lie.  My classmates were all adorable too, which is immediately evident in the video footage that of course I’m never going to let you see.  And we had very dusty knees, apparently, because we kept dusting them between our step-ball-changes).

I wanted to start the twins in dance classes at age 3 because all of the contestants who are formally trained on So You Think You Can Dance say they have been dancing since they were 3.  But we had a newborn when the twins were 3 – nope!  We pushed it off a year, but then the twins began preschool which is surprisingly expensive when you are paying for 2 children simultaneously.  New plan:  dance classes when school becomes free, i.e. KINDERGARTEN!

It is finally time.  I did my research when the twins were 2 in preparation for them turning 3.  Pregnant women get crazy about acquiring information they *might* need someday, and I max out on this tendency.  When it came time to actually start dance classes, I only remembered one thing about my previous research and didn’t remember exactly what it meant.  So I did my research again.  Heh, that’s a lie.  Actually, I polled my Fb friends, visited a few websites, had an emotional response to the recital photo of one class’s dance performance, and made a decision.  I suppose that simulates research to some extent.  But the decision was made: we were joining Art in Motion!

Art in Motion was highly praised by a billion people (actually, all 10-ish of my Fb friends with experience there were not just satisfied, they were thrilled).  The couple who runs it are wonderful, their whole family is involved, their faith informs their business decisions, they choreographed a number about hunger and homelessness (thus, the photo to which I had an emotional response).  When someone’s website makes you cry in a good way, you know this is the place for you!

We started a week ago.  I signed the kids up for Dance 1 for 4-6 year olds, in which they will receive introductory training in ballet, tap, and jazz.  Perfect!  I spent a billion dollars on the spot (another lie:  it was merely $250!) for registration fees and a month of classes and 4 pairs of dance shoes (we skipped buying the jazz shoes in order to “save money”).

Zach is the only boy in their class, which I think is a crying shame because men who can dance are so dreamy and well-rounded and fantastic!  My Matt does not dance because he does not enjoy it, but out of love for me, he has danced with me on multiple occasions, including our wedding reception!  Zach is way too young to appreciate the fun of having all of those girls around, but he does enjoy using the Men’s bathroom by himself “so no one can see my butt!”  The perks of being the only boy. 🙂  He LOVED the first class.  Rissa has been dancing for her whole life, beginning in utero when she disturbed me AND her twin brother constantly with her running/leaping/Lord of the Dance footwork.  Long and graceful, she was made for this.  Zach pretty much only did it because she talked him into it.  And yet, she HATED the first class.  I later found out that this was only because her leotard was too tight and everyone else was wearing a ballet skirt over their leotard and she wasn’t.  We rectified both of those issues for week 2, and she now LOVES it.

The studio, its owners, and the classroom instructors are just as fabulous as my friends said they would be.  I am very pleased with the entirety of our family’s entrance into dance.  My Bigs are both athletic and strong, and they needed a physical outlet.  Their already amazing brains are running at full tilt with all of the new stimuli from school/piano lessons/dance lessons!  They are exhausted when their heads hit their pillows and I am utterly exhausted from all of this chauffeur business, but we are all happy.

There is one issue…

On the whole, I work hard at being an accepting and kind person.  One of my friends once thanked me for my refusal to be a Mompetitor… she was so relieved that my general response is, “Hey!  You’re doing your best, I’m doing my best, our kids are loved, yay us!”  (I’m terrified of Mompetitors and their impossible rules to be “in” the club!)

Dance Moms totally freak me out.

Given that I have children in dance now, I suppose I am a dance mom by definition.  But I am NOT a Dance Mom.  Dance Moms remind me of Pageant Moms.  I dislike pageantry for various reasons, most importantly:  the sexualization of little girls is abhorrent.  But I will not give my soapbox speech about that at this time.  I will assume that you already know, and that you could at least join me on the soapbox if not take over and give the speech yourself.  Let’s focus on another part that is awful.  The insecurity!  There is a culture among Pageant Moms and as I’ve recently discovered, also among Dance Moms of insecurity.  (This happens elsewhere too – don’t get me started on Little League Dads!!!!)  These parents have personal hopes and dreams that they did not fulfill, so they dump the entire emotional baggage cart onto their children and push, push, push!  Achieve!  Go!  Do!  Be!  More!  Better!  It is overwhelming to these Tinies who are supposed to be there to learn self-confidence!!!!!

The Dance Moms don’t stop with their children.  As I discovered these past 2 weeks, they turn on one another outside the classrooms and parade their cleverly masked insecurities as one-uppers.  Whatever topic comes up, THEY have the most important opinion!  Everyone else is a lunatic!  Performance, performance, performance!  While their kids are in class having fun (a little TOO much fun and not enough work, I imagine), they are outdoing one another with their tales of conquering the morons who would dare have the self-confidence to try something different.

I forget to give grace to these people because they are so very ungracious to everyone else.  But behind that pushy facade is someone who fears they will never be enough.  They need grace – they need to be accepted for who they are… even though we can’t even see the real them because they have intentionally buried themselves!  And even more importantly, their kids need grace.  From others and especially from their own parents.  Their overly pushy, performance-driven parents who focus on what people can do instead of who they can be.

I wasn’t prepared for this culture – this whole “my kid has the cutest outfit/trained with the best professionals/ate the crunchiest organic granola/logged the most practice hours/on and on and ON!” competition.  And thankfully, most dance moms are not Dance Moms, at least at the studio we have joined.

Now that I have utterly denounced the crazies who get waaaaaay too into their dance competitions… I’m off to go watch the So You Think You Can Dance finale like the rabid fan that I am. 🙂  That’s a lie:  FIRST I’ll leave you with some photos of my delicious babies who look SO cute in their dance outfits while they learn confidence, agility, creative movement, and strength!  Then I’m off.

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3 thoughts on “Dance

  1. Angie says:

    They are on my hot tamale train! Woo woo!!!

  2. Becky says:

    Have you met/seen any swim team parents? Now they can be insane with their demands and critiques.

  3. DEB says:

    I love these pictures of two excited, athletic kids going to have fun. I hope to be enjoying the adorable dances they put out over the next months to come!

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