I don’t have the mental fortitude to organize my thoughts and draw conclusions and do any sort of pondering today.  So I will give you the fact-based version of the destruction of our van.  No, I didn’t get to drop it off a building and beat it into little pieces during a gangsta music soundtrack a la Office Space.  I wish.

Matt and the kids were in an accident on Thursday evening.  They are safe.

We met Matt after work and I drove home in his car while he and the kids took the van to the gas station to fill it for our planned trip to Chicago today and then drove home.  A car was waiting at a stop sign at an intersecting road and wanted to pull across all 4 lanes of Vine St.  Matt was next to and slightly behind a bus, so the car couldn’t see him coming because the bus was in the way and he couldn’t see her coming because the bus was in the way.  The bus turned, the girl pulled out without checking carefully enough and Matt smashed right into her, despite serious effort on his part to honk and brake and turn and prevent the collision.

The airbags deployed in the van and Matt’s glasses were thrown off his face and he had a bloody nose from the impact.  I’ve never been present for an airbag deploy, but the air is thick and heavy with powdery smoke and Matt couldn’t see anything.  He managed to check our kids and make sure they were okay, find his glasses, and get the van pulled out of the middle of the street.  Everyone was okay, even the other driver.  It was terrifying, not just because of the powdery smoke and the sickening crunch of impacted vehicles, but also because both horns started going off continuously.  It was so loud and the kids were so scared.  Thankfully, the officer on the scene (the station is a block away from where it happened) unplugged the wiring for both horns to make the noise stop.  Matt gave the appropriate paperwork and information and then drove our limping van the <1 mile home because he didn’t have any other way to get 3 kids safely there.

I was waiting at home and wondering why it took over 30 minutes to get gasoline and then the kids spilled out of the van and were upset and bombarding me with hugs and information about the accident.  They showed me our broken van and we all cried a little bit.  I felt so shaken that this had happened!  Matt was quick to point out that they were very brave and great helpers for him and did everything he asked them to do.  I could tell that he had gone to great emotional lengths to not only handle the accident but be with each of them and help them get through such a traumatic incident.

Our 4.5 year olds were emotionally traumatized and very concerned.  They were worried that we couldn’t go to Chicago the next day.  They were worried about our planned trip to North Carolina next month.  They were worried about the other driver.  Words gushed from them as they tried to explain the experience and find ways to say all that they were feeling.  Nathaniel’s response was heartbreaking.  He doesn’t have paragraphs of words or the maturity to explain how terrified he was.  He used his gravest facial expression and gravest voice and told me, “Uh oh, Dah” and pointed to Daddy’s nose and glasses.  We nodded and said, yes, Daddy’s glasses fell off and he had a bloody nose.  Then he pointed to the van and said, “Uh oh.”  Then back to Daddy.  Then back to the van.  This went on… over and over.  We assured him that Daddy was okay but he just needed to express himself and talk about it and he didn’t know how to say more.  Poor little guy.  Throughout the evening, he would take my hand and bring me over to the garage to look at our broken van and say “uh oh.”  Then he’d take me to Daddy and say “uh oh.”  We responded each time, just letting him talk about it as many times as he needed to and acknowledging that it was very scary and hard.  We were shaken – the 4 of them from actually being there and me from hearing about my family being in danger.

Praise God for His mercy to us and to the other driver.  Everyone is safe and His care for our family continues through each crisis that we have faced.  We are so grateful for His provision.  (I wondered to myself if I would say that if my family had been hurt.  Would I say, “Praise God for His provision to us!” if someone wasn’t okay?  It could always be much worse and He is sovereign regardless of the outcome… it was challenging to realize that I am thankful to God when He cares for me in the ways I hope for and not so much when He doesn’t).

I made hot chocolate and dinner for my sweeties and Rissa brought me to tears when she asked if we could invite the other driver over to have hot chocolate and dinner too because what if she was scared like we were and didn’t have those things?  My sweet girl.  Then I took the kids upstairs for a “coloring bath” with bathtub crayons I had been saving for them.  It helped all of them think about something else and not keep reliving the terror they had just faced.  We had so much fun as we colored each other and the entire tub.  Our water turned purple, so we drained it, put the crayons away, and had a second, less-exciting “cleaning bath.”

I drew our bedtime story for them on the Magnadoodle… our van and the other car and all the people in them.  The police car and lights and officer.  Me waiting at home, concerned.  And I drew a giant angel between the 2 cars.  We talked about how God took care of us by sending an angel to stand in between the cars and keep them from hitting each other TOO hard.  That way, only the cars got hurt and not the people.  We talked about how if God hadn’t sent the angel to stand there and keep everyone safe, the people might have gotten hurt too.  We thanked God for keeping everyone safe.  After the bath and the story, the kids seemed calm enough to sleep, so we put them in bed.

Then Matt and I began the arduous task of contacting insurance companies and considering our options.  We were told that the van would be towed away this morning to an assessment site, then assessed, and likely totaled given the extent of the damage to the front of the van.  If it was totaled, they would contact us soon with the settlement value so that we could begin looking for a new vehicle.

It turns out that they can’t tow it until Monday.  Which means it won’t be assessed until Monday afternoon at the earliest.  Which means we have a broken van sitting in our driveway and no vehicle that fits our family of 5 and no paid-for rental and we won’t even know what kind of money we’ll have to look for something else until after Monday.  Given that our van is a piece of crap (that is well-documented throughout this blog), we won’t get much money in the totaled settlement.  So we won’t have much to put toward another vehicle.  I guess we’ll know more after Monday.

It’s frustrating.  As much as I hated our van, scary accidents and totaled vehicles aren’t really the best way to get something else!  We had a working vehicle that could transport my family, and now we don’t!  So we’ll be walking to get places for this weekend (at least) and just trying to stay home and stay together.  And Matt stayed home from work this morning to handle the details and now it’s pushed back until Monday, so that was a waste.

But all 5 people involved are safe.  And the Olson Five is together.  And the Lord is good all the time.  I’m fighting the urge to panic about feeling trapped in our house… I love our house!  If I was going to get trapped somewhere without a vehicle, our house would be my first-fifth top choices.  I’m fighting the urge to be bitter that we may end up with another generally crappy vehicle… it doesn’t matter.  If we get something with working A/C, it will be a step up for us!  No hot summer in our craptastic van this year!  Whee!  I had to do a search for this psalm because it came to mind as I was typing and as I read it through, I realize that it is perfectly descriptive of our God.  He knows.  He cares.  We’re going to be okay.

Psalm 121 – A song of ascents.

 ¹ I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
² My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
³ He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
⁴ indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
⁵ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
⁶ the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
⁷ The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
⁸ the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.